that was it!

true north and i spent the last remaining days of december together. we were together in tagaytay on new years day. i thought that was a good start for 2009. we had breakfast in leslie's and had a couple of beers in sanctuario (very nice place!) unplanned... it's always nice to be spontaneous.
anyway, so after a few days, true north informed me that he is canceling all our out of town trips together. (what the f*ck?) someone saw us in tagaytay daw and he just didn't want to have problems with his gf. (ganon???)
i didn't know what to say. yes, we go out a lot, we're always together, but that was it. we're not together. just friends. relationship is platonic talaga. but then i'm guilty in a way because i know i'm falling for him.
but still, we are not doing anything else except hang out together.
well, enough of trying to convince myself that i'm the victim... truth is, it hurts that true north belongs to someone else. and for the past four months, he has revealed his secrets to me -- though some of it he didn't want to elaborate and remain a mystery to me.
he just canceled the trips without giving me reasons. no reason at all.
that's it! (you know what i mean) no questions asked. i don't need answers and reasons.
it just confirms my suspicion that he is married to this "gf" -- why else will he stay in that relationship? that may explain why he didn't want to have pictures taken, he kept reminding me that he is engaged. he tells me, "you're two years late" and "maybe in the next lifetime we'll be together na" or "this could have been the perfect relationship i wanted"
haaaaaaaaaayyyy! it hurts so much. pero gano'n eh.

that's what life is all about right? things happen because they are bound to happen. there are questions that just don't have answers. gano'n kasi gano'n!

so, that was it! january 1 was but a sweet goodbye.