The law of Love: A Mom’s Message (my mother-in-law's speech)

(Wedding of Mario Francisco Valdivia Marfori II & Sining Nograles Lumbera, Paco Church, Mla Phils. 29 October 2010, )

Love, most definitely, is the centrepiece of this special occasion, the centrepiece of our life, the centrepiece of the union between my eldest son, Mario and my new daughter, Sining.

Thank you my new in laws, the Lumberas and the Nograles, the siblings, friends and colleagues for the affirmation and love you have showered Sining. If not for your love, Sining wouldn’t have the patience, to take all the crap of my firstborn, if not for her patience and intelligence, Sining wouldn’t last a day to understand the many quirks and shortcomings of this mama’s boy.

Mario is a miracle child, he is compassionate but is not the easiest person to be with. He was a fretful, colicky baby, and at 3 days old, he was covered with sores and pus from allergy. He grew up on soya milk. He was allergic to milk from mammals. So as a baby, he smelled like taho or tofu if newly bathe and like tokwa at the end of the day. That’s probably the reason why as an adult, seldom, will one catch him smelling like human. He smells like a bottle of cologne walking. Despite his unsettling idiosyncrasies, like taking a shower, every time he sees the bathroom, Sining obviously is fascinated. Thank you Sining.

I’ve always prayed for someone to love my children more than I loved them, my only condition was for somebody to love them unconditionally, like how I love their Dad the past 35 years. Like how Je and Ingko my third son, who gave me my first grandchild, 3 weeks ago, love each other unconditionally.

And am so happy today, that finally, Mario surrendered his life to the best, who stood by him through the highs and lows of his life, but more on the lows. Most poignant scene that will forever be etched in my mind was their scene together in Makati Medical Center, when Mario had his laparascopic surgery for his gall bladder. Sining was slicing a pizza she brought for Mario, and he was the picture of a little boy, smiling in glee. I knew then that Sining was perfect for my son. From then on, I stormed heaven for this day, their union as husband and wife.

I have only one message to Sining and Mario, and that is to live on the principle of love as mandated by God in the Ten Commanments, which is to love God wholeheartedly and each other. The first and greatest commandment is, to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And the second is to love your neighbour as yourself. Another biblical verse on love is, “Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love” (1 John 4:7-8) Does this mean, that when one loves more than one, he knows God more, than the one, who only has one love? No. But what a good justification for the philanderers, ei?

The seventh commandment answers the foregoing question, “You shall not commit adultery” mandates that men and women were designed to be together, that marriage is divinely ordained and established by God as the foundation of the family, which in turns stands as the foundation and most important building block of society.

Finally, may I share the story of 2 porcupines who lived in the Ice Age. To get warm, they drew close to each other, but needled each other as they did. It hurt so much, so they pulled apart. Apart, they got cold again, so they got closer and as before, hurt each other. This is the predicament too in most relationships, either the lovers are too cold and far apart or too close and hurting. Personality differences are like the quills of the porcupines that can hurt. Only with Christ-like qualities of compassion, self-sacrifice and a forgiving heart, can a couple weather any cold or storm in their relationship.

Loving unconditionally and unselfishly does not mean making the least of ourselves but making the most of our beloved. So Sining and Mario, love unselfishly, and be grateful you are not porcupines with the predicament of an impossible love. And even if love sometimes turns cold, remember what Thomas Kempis said, “Love knows no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility for it thinks all thinks lawful for itself, and all things possible.

Mario, be a child always, teachable, accepting of the quills of your married life, and Sining may you continue to accept my son, with the child-like love of Christ. I love you!